P Is For Dumb

George W. Bush, seen here swinging into action on 9/11/01


We're, what, 83 day's into Obama's presidency and the rightwing rage of the day is already up to the letter "p". As in "pirates" and "pizza".
The first outcries were over the fact that Obama refused to dive into the troubled waters off the coast of Africa with knife gripped firmly between his teeth, as George W. Bush would have done minutes into the crisis. Then when Captain Phillips jumps over board and Navy Seals wrap up the rescue operation, killing three of the kidnapp... sorry, pirates, and capturing the fourth, we learn from certain rightwing bloggers - yar, experts they be in all things military* - that the Seals apparently aquired their bravery and pro-active skills through personal training from none other than W himself. Seriously.

As for pizzagate. Well, that's just The Stupid once again coming home to roost.

"In fact, Chris Sommers flew commercial.
Not only that, he flew coach.
Not only that, he had already planned a business trip to DC, so the restaurant paid for his travel!
...
Finally, Barack Obama isn't saddling the American taxpayer with the tab for this feast. He's picking up the tab, for local ingredients, out of his own pocket."

Awesome, accurate reporting from the right, once again.
Or as Sadly, No puts it:

"So, Jack-o, what do you want on your pizza pie? How ’bout library paste, applesauce and an extra topping of melted stupid?"

*obligatory Pirate dialect.