Pet care:
Bykofsky: You know, John, my wife and I dearly love our rottweiler, Leonidas.
Gibson: Can we put up a photo? Ahh she's a fine beast, Stu.
Bykofsky: "He", John. Anyway, we love him but lately the wife and I are at odds over how to care for him.
Gibson: How so, Stu?
Bykofsky: Well, Mrs. B wants to switch him over to a kibble of sorts while I believe a raw meat diet is best for him. For a while we were united on the issue of his diet but things have changed and we just can't seem to resolve this. So now Leonidas has started to get all confused. Sleeps on the couch. Doesn't always come when we call him. We're at an impasse and I believe, because of it, Leonidas is doomed.
Gibson: Sounds hopeless. What's the solution?
Bykofsky: The only way I see things changing for the better is to, well, to cut his hind legs off. Now, I'm not advocating cutting his hind legs off, you understand...
Gibson: Of course.
Bykofsky: ...but as I see it, cutting his hind legs off is the only way Leonidas is going to survive.
Gibson: Have you thought of just cutting his nose off - you know - to spite his face?
Bykofsky: Sure, sure. That's another consideration.
Gibson: I think it’s going to take a lot of severed doggy parts to wake ol' Leonidas up.
Bykofsky: Sad but true, John.
Update:
Colbert on Bykofsky
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